Quiet
by Syrah1993
Summary: The human mind is truly the scariest thing of all, but right before the voices go silent is when I truly feel alive. To bad the one person she can't hear is the one person she should fear the most. Izaya x OC
1. Balcony

**The human mind is truly the scariest thing of all**.

It had been years since the voices had slowly moved out from my head but now after leaving the comfort of Kyoto for the first time and moving to the city of Ikebukuro, they flooded my brain like a steam engine. I turned to the internet, like I always used to, to get some peace. It had always been a lot easier to focus on small amounts of people rather than the whole pack at the train station. That's how I learned to control it in the first place, after finding out what I was.

The age of six had to of been one of the hardest times of my life. I didn't know any better and when I first heard the voices I thought it was just my father talking to some coworker on the phone. Turns out the coworker was his most recent fling and asking my mother about it got me the first ticket available to the most isolated boarding school in the country. She never did want to give up the status my father gave her, always enjoying the nicer things in life even if it meant turning a blind eye to the cheating man that was her husband. However, talking became hard after that.

Yes, there were a few incidents during my years through grade school but overall I kept my head down and learned to observe and figure people out. It wasn't until my freshman year of high school that I learned it worked with technology as well. Reading someone's true thoughts was always odd to me, no one ever told the truth. So many lies, so many false loves, and false hopes that by the time I had everything figured out I was more afraid of the human mind than a gun.

***Message Available***

I was new to the chat community in Ikebukuro but from all the voices and the news itself, I learned fast that this wasn't a town for optimistic people. They played you like a violin, if you let them, and saw nothing but fun when you started to drown. My motive for coming here however was not to get involved but to learn more about what I could do. It had felt dull in the last few years in Kyoto like nothing was new to me anymore. All the people I pasted by day in and day out all had the same thoughts and problems, it made me want to puke. Coming here has been overwhelming yes, but the thoughts are different, darker, but carry more information than even I can handle.

*Nakura: You're new, right? Why this chat room?

Everything had stopped right there. I dropped the bag of gummies I held in my hand and stared. There was nothing, no second response, no bold print telling me their true thoughts, nothing. This was new.

*Oki: New to this chat community, yes. I just got my internet hooked up yesterday. I just haven't been feeling myself lately.

*Nakura: Oh! Would you like to talk about it that's what we're here for anyway, no?

My brain was working in overdrive. I've done many things over the years with this ability, from cheating in class to making a little extra money for myself on the side, however, never being able to see a person's thoughts was not one of them. How much information should I give? What should I expect?

*Oki: It's just been a long time since I've been on my own. I know I'm in my twenties and this is stupid but I feel so alone here and it hasn't even been a week. Things kind of fell apart back home over the last few years and I finally just decided to get out.

*Nakura: Are you here in Ikebukuro? So you're running from something right?

Smart boy was what came to my mind. I had over my teenage years turned to suicide on more than one occasion. The first being when I came home for summer vacation in my sophomore year of high school. I had caught my father and his mistress going at it while my mother was away with her family. Father had beaten me senseless then, before throwing his bank card at me, clearly telling me to go get whatever I wanted and not to tell a soul what I had seen. He got so paranoid that he beat me every night after, making sure he drilled into my head that no one was to know. Too bad mother knew.

*Oki: Yes I am. I don't know if running is the right term to use anymore. There's nothing behind me to run from.

*Nukura: So you feel empty?

*Oki: Mhmm, I always have. Father was always unfaithful and mother never cared, all she wanted was her status, it didn't matter to her so long as father played the role of a husband when they were out in public. I found out one day and that's when the beatings started. I got lucky though. I was away at school for most of the year so I had maybe three months of beatings to put up with at most, but that was just at home. I never made friends in school and always got bullied by my other classmates including my roommate.

Sharing my beginnings never bothered me much. No one stuck around long enough or lived long enough for it to matter. I had taken my father's bank card and did exactly what he said, bought whatever I wanted. This included full sets of ear studs, six studs on each ear, along with a nose ring, some new hair dye, and a brand-new closet. My brain I guess had kicked into fight or flight mode that summer. It shut down with the beatings and kicked on again when I woke the next morning to start my planning. I learned to shoot a gun and with that same bank card bought two pistols for myself. They currently lay under my bed in there casing, ready to go if needed.

*Nukura: You poor thing. How have you made it this far?

I smiled for the first time since the move. Coning someone into killing themselves is one thing, but he was interested in me. He knew he had hit a dead end when I put no feeling behind my words, so I guess sarcasm was the way to go in the end.

*Oki: Nukura may I ask you a question?

*Nukura: Of course, whatever you like!

*Oki: What makes you feel alive?

*Nukura: People do of course! You, my dear friend?

*Oki: You don't seem like a fool Nukura, so I'll be honest. At first, it was the voices, the constant feeling of knowing what a person's true thoughts were even when they vomited up false lies to your face. After a while, that got boring, at least when you hear those same thoughts day in and day out, read those same thoughts day in and day out. Then, I thought it was keeping a secret, getting dad's bank card just to keep my mouth shut, but he was always so passionate about his flings that those thoughts were always pushed on me even if I was trying to keep them out. I didn't learn until a few years ago that the moments right before those voices go silent are the best moments that time could ever offer. Everyone is so honest at that point it doesn't matter if they speak.

He didn't reply right away. If anything, I thought he had left the chat to clear his mind. It gave me enough time to grab my snacks off the floor and check my phone for any business update. I'll have to get to that explanation later I guess, but you can do a lot when people's minds are an open book.

*Nukura: What have I been thinking?

I smiled again, this time crushing the bag in my hand.

*Oki: That's the thing, I don't know.

***Nukura has signed off***

With a sigh, I turned away from my computer to my balcony that overlooked a small backstreet, nothing special when you don't need a lot, to begin with. Ikebukuro was a new start even if that meant still having some of the fun I used to in the old days. Just one person wouldn't be bad so long as everything just stayed online. How wrong I would end up being in the end. If only I had realized that the one person I couldn't hear was the one person I didn't want to be silent. Maybe it was my mind's way of telling me that you don't need to know everything.

***New Message Received***

Little Bird: Don't think this will be the last time you and I have a conversation. I much enjoy talking with humans and you are sure to be of some entertainment. I will find you my little Oki rest assured. I'd love to know more about these voices you speak of, or better yet, why you can't hear mine. Don't make this easy as I can see you already blocked me from finding out where you're currently located across the city, but it will only take me so long to sift through upper-class murders throughout Japan over that last few years. I hope you enjoy this game just as much as I will.

With Love

Nukura.

 **The human mind is truly the scariest thing of all.**


	2. Rain

**The rain always seemed to make things louder.**

The complaints always echoed with displeasure for the wet substance. I didn't mind it much and people seemed to like the look of my red damp hair. Sticking out wasn't my goal but you can't fight what you're born with, or what you've changed yourself into. The first month here had been rather uneventful, I secured a job at one of the major veterinary emergency and critical care facilities in town as a licensed night technician and seemed to live a relatively quiet life otherwise. However, I still couldn't get the voices under control. My usual methods weren't working and the overall lack of sleep I got made me sluggish and unhappy. 

The fact that my phone blew up at all times of the day didn't help either. At first, I had hoped that they were just job updates from back home, but it would never just be that easy. Nakura had proceeded to message me every hour on the hour for three weeks now. The building rage to reply from my phone was burning, but I knew the minute I did it was over, he would have a direct link to finding me at any time. He was smart though and conveniently knew more then he let on. His bringing up Kyoto was my first inclination that he may already know who I was. 

This is usually when I found myself wandering the streets in the midafternoon. Sitting at home where I did have the ability to reply to Nakura was a terrible idea. The fear of being found is what kept me from replying in the first place. The crippling fear of not knowing his thoughts haunted my sleepless nights. It all leads to more adventures and headaches, all the things I didn't want to have. Something in this city left me unable to empty my head, there was no blocking out the dark and disgusting thoughts of the people around me. And most of these adventures left me collapsed in a corner crying before fixing myself scarcely and crawling to my computer my nightly ritual. 

***Oki has signed on***

Nakura: Good evening little bird, still keeping me at arms distance I see.

Oki: More than you know 

Nakura: Oh well let me give you a small update on some of the reports I've found. Kyoto has had a drop in its crime rates over the last month, it seems a presence just known as the Epitaph has been less active lately. This Epitaph was said to have appeared five years ago after a string of seven identical murders. Though most of the people I've talked to in Kyoto praise the Epitaph. They say their advice is the most valuable thing to the city itself. Didn't you already know this though little bird

? 

Oki: That's interesting. Who's that? 

He wasn't too far off though, however, the only drop in activity I've had is dealing with some of the more profitable people of Kyoto. They always took a team effort when the jobs got that big and my small group back home had decided to lay low and live normal lives with my absence. Now, this didn't mean I had put a stop to all business. We ran a small information app that was the center of Kyoto itself. These questions were never too big or too complicated, just easy enough to make a living for the five of us outside our normal day jobs. 

Nakura: You of course! The first string of murders was a husband and wife. The husband was a cheat and the wife a greedy whore. They, unfortunately for them, had a daughter who was seventeen at the time of the murders. Sounds a lot like your story little bird. Tell me who do you look more like your mother or your father? I'm so close I can almost imagine you for myself. 

He was making my blood run cold. On the plus side, he probably hadn't found any recent photos of me from the last five years, so I was still in the clear. On the downside, my head was so overwhelmed that it was pounding uncontrollably, and the voices were so loud I quickly ran from my living room to the bathroom, only to throw up the contents of my stomach violently. The dry heaving that followed was something I hadn't experienced for years. Last time was when I was around twelve and had to listen to my teacher's vile thoughts about a classmate throughout the whole lecture. That wasn't what made me sick, it was the news we received the next day about the girl's mutilated body being found hung upside down from the pull-up bars in the gym. 

That teacher had been my actual first kill. Hard to believe I know, but when the next year rolled around and I started to hear those thoughts again I could not let him follow through with them. He was a mess before I put a bullet between his eyes. I told him everything he pushed into my mind along with a few other tastefully added comments. Ruka had been the bonus from that whole ordeal and still to this day she's my go-between while I'm away from Kyoto. 

Nakura: Little bird are you there?

Nakura: Little bird?

Nakura: Little bird?

Every line I read on my phone from my spot in the bathroom made my head pound and the voices started to turn into shouts. Maybe it was him. Maybe he had something similar to what I had and was able to control these voices. I wanted to ask, and my finger did float over that reply button for some time before I crawled my broken ass back to my computer. He hadn't logged out yet and he was probably annoyed but it was my turn. 

Oki: Why do you make them louder?

It took him a minute to reply.

Nakura: Make what louder?

Oki: The voices…you make them louder every time.

Nakura: Every time I what?

It's time to back out I'm asking too much and I'm almost positive this man already knows where I live anyway.

Oki: Good night Nakura.

***Oki has signed off***

Knowing sleep wasn't going to help me now I pulled the case with my guns out from under my bed, strapping them into place I left through my balcony door and climbed my way to the roof of the complex. Voices or not there had to be a place in the city where things were quiet and I had a feeling I knew where.

Crossing the city was almost too easy in the dead of night. The fresh night air combined with the small drizzle of rain that smacked my face was almost calming. Yet someone else was complaining about the rain as I jumped across the rooftops of downtown. His thoughts weren't as loud as the rest and I swore as looked down I made eye contact with soft blue eyes that didn't match the look of anger on his face while he held up a broken vending machine. 

_I don't like violence about as much as I don't like rain._

Nakura was probably the only one who could grant me some rest from this town's terrible personality, but I wouldn't give in that easily anytime soon. I had a lot to think about and the night was still young. Not to mention the cemetery was a good forty-five minute run away even at the pace I was going. Once I met this man my fate would be sealed. I couldn't shake the feeling that he knew a hell of a lot more about what I was then I did. The fact that someone else knew killed me a little inside every time I thought of it. 

***Message Received***

Evening,

I do hope you're ok little bird. Maybe I pushed too much on you too fast, so why don't I make this an even playing field. I've told you I want to know about the voices and I can't lie about the fact that I've been looking into everything. If you want them to stop then maybe we can meet? Of course, there's no guarantee that I would even be able to get them to stop but to be honest I'm starting to get bored with this game. Mostly the fact that you paid more attention to Shizu-chan then myself just a few minutes ago. Make your next move carefully little bird, I wouldn't want you to break a wing too soon. Good night my little Mako, may your head stay quiet and clear. 

I did fall for the first time that night, thankfully I didn't break a wing as he so kindly put it. It didn't take me long to remember the brief flashes of red and black I saw back when I crossed vision with that blue-eyed man. And I had wondered why his voice was so soft in the first place.

He knew my name now though and from the sounds of it what I looked like too.

 **The rain always seemed to make things louder, even the sound of my confused sobs as I curled up in an alleyway for the night.  
**


	3. Voices

_Roses aren't always red,_

 _And violets aren't exactly blue,_

 _The society that we live in_

 _Never seems to speak the truth._

 _Smiles aren't always happy_

 _And frowns aren't always upset,_

 _People judge too quickly_

 _And our feeling are what they_

 _Forget._

He had been quiet for a few days now, not that I minded, much. Sometimes even with so many thoughts going through my head I still became lonely, Nakura had been a small relief in my closed off-world, even if I was terrified of the person. With his silence came a small boost of energy. I tried to stay busy on my days off with paperwork from my small business back in Kyoto and setting up my apartment. Other than the loneliness everything was turning out well. 

Light colors dusted my walls and furniture. A four-part color scheme of grey, baby blue, beige, and lavender was what anyone would notice if they walked in. The light grey of the walls was dotted with landscape photos, all of which showed lush green forests and waterfalls. I hated anything dry, so the sand was out of the question. Most of the furniture that wasn't covered in fabric, so the tables and stands, were a light oak color and make, polished and cleaned, just how I liked it. My kitchen was also very mellow, with light cabinets and stainless steel pots hanging from a wrack on the wall. The crockpot on the counter got used a lot more than anything else, cycling through meals every two days or so when I ate what had been made before.

With everything in order over the last few days, I could now be found reading one of the few books I hadn't had the chance to finish. A lovely story from the states about a scientist and her supposed test subject, an African Grey parrot named Alex. I was on the second to last chapter when the incoming message tone sounded from my computer. I was a little reluctant to be happy. Part of me hated that I hoped it was him wanting to talk. Well, it was and as a read the message the ends of my mouth turned up in a smile. 

*Nakura: Long time no talk my little bird. It has been quite a week for me. How about yourself? 

*Oki: Long or you just got bored and decided to bug me again?

*Nakura: You sure are not fun when your cranky little bird. Do you need a hug?

*Oki: Don't even think about coming anywhere near me.

*Nakura: Fine, fine calm down. I just didn't want my favorite bird to feel lonely. Would you like to know what I've been up too? 

Oh, if only he could see my face. My lavender orbs must have been sparkling as I stared at my computer. I haven't even met the man, yet my whole world either fell apart or came together with our conversations. Last time it broke me and frankly I'm not a very well put together person as it is. He probably liked that though. The thought of having that kind of control over someone like me would be exhilarating for someone like him. 

*Oki: I have no sense to care honestly but go ahead.

*Nakura: Ouch that one hurt little bird. We will defiantly have to teach you manners someday. Well, you see I took the liberty of looking into what you are, and it was a wonderful find. 

What I am? I have never thought I was anything more than human with a little bit of a funky head. I never bothered to look anything else up either. His words stuck with me as I looked out the window, yet again, to the small balcony outside. My parents were normal, they always acted like I was the crazy one when I talked out about there thoughts. So how could I have been any different?

*Oki: Mind telling me what you mean?

*Nakura: Well little bird for starters you're very underdeveloped with your skills, at least that's what I'm guessing, and I have a friend who would very much love to look you over and help! Isn't that exciting? If this really all started when you were what a freshman in high school, you should already have control over these so-called voices of yours among a few other things.

*Oki: I never told you that. 

My heartbeat had quickened.

*Nakura: Oh, I know, but remember I did tell you I would find out who you were. Poor little Mako, the first thoughts you heard were of your cheating father. Your first kill was one of your teachers after not only seeing the aftermath of his own kill but taking matters into your hands when you heard his thoughts about committing another. You're the same little girl who put two gangs out of business in Kyoto and made their millions disappear without a trace, I haven't even figured that one out yet. The poor little girl who moved to Ikebukuro to start over and find some new excitement in her life only to find a never-ending headache and me. Isn't it wonderful! 

I was crying. He was right, everything he knew was right on the money. How invested was this man in me? What could he really do if we ever faced each other? My own thoughts were covered up by the increased sounds of others as I sat at my desk with my head in my hands. I was always the one on top, the one in control with all the power. I could think five or even ten steps ahead of the people after me all because I could hear and read what they were thinking and now I've become the prey with no information and nowhere to hide. Honestly, I wanted to pack my things up and leave right now.

*Nakura: Getting a headache? Well, I have one small piece of information I would like to test before I leave you tonight. Do me a favor will you little bird? For starters don't panic the last thing I need is for you to go into cardiac arrest right now on me after all. While I was reading about what I'm pretty sure you are I came across something I think may solve our problem. Have you ever heard of something called a signer? 

*Oki: No

*Nakura: Well it's simple really. A signer is a partner, a mate of sorts. There the partners to ancient mystics call Epitaphs and I'm sure you know that name well. I bet you didn't even know when you gave yourself that name that you had hit the nail on the head. Anyway, an unmarked signer can cause great harm to its intended partner while an unmarked Epitaph will always have trouble controlling their abilities without there signer. In the end, the signer is unharmed and can go about there lives without ever knowing they have an intended partner while you, the Epitaph, suffer alone with the thoughts of others. 

*Oki: Are you trying to tell me you're my partner? One random person who happened to pop a message into my inbox and has suddenly become my stalker. Why should I even begin to believe you?

*Nakura: That's the part you don't believe? Ha, you're better then I thought. Well, little bird, like I said I came across something that may help you and I want to test it. Oh, I also came across your apartment as well, but don't worry I won't be coming inside tonight. 

My face shot to my door. I hadn't heard any sounds this whole time other then the thoughts in my head, but if he found my apartment could he be there, right outside my door? I had started to take deep breaths to calm myself but the creeping feeling of nausea had now settled over me. The need to slam my laptop shut and just curl up in bed crying was strong but I knew he would just blow up the chat on my phone. This couldn't be happening, not here and not now, not in my only haven in this entire city.

*Nakura: You're panicking, now aren't you? I'll tell you again I'm not coming in tonight, I just want you to take your phone and come to the door. You don't even have to talk to me if you don't want to little bird. Don't you want to see if the voices stop?

Something in me wanted to listen so bad, and something didn't believe any of this was real. However, if he could make the voices stop then the headache would go away. Either way, he was on the other side of that door waiting for my next move. 

Reluctantly I stood. With my phone in my left hand, I slowly approached the pale white door, as I did the voices only grew louder and nausea more intense. By now I could hear shuffling right on the other side, but the pain became too much, and I fell to my knees just in front of the only barrier protecting me from a man I had never even met. 

"Can you hear me little bird?" His voice was rich, like honey, it sounded almost cheerful to know that he had me in this state. Rustling alerted me to the fact that he was now leaning against the door.

"Yes." My voice was broken and came out in a gasp. The sounds were deafening now, causing a ring in my ears. 

"Touch the door. Touch the door and I will make it all better little bird. You will believe me then won't you? So little bird just touch the door." The voice was quiet now, almost a whisper, to the point I almost couldn't hear him over everything else. Raising my right hand, it almost touched the poorly painted wood before I stopped.

"Will you tell me your name?" He laughed at that and I almost vomited right on the spot. If it was the only sound it may have made me smile but right now it only made me feel sick. He straightened his posture against the flimsy surface.

"Little bird I won't say it again, touch the door." I paid no mind to the fact that he didn't answer my question, I was solely focused on the 'what ifs' now. What if it worked and the voices stopped. What if he didn't keep to his word and came into my home this night. What if it didn't work.

My hand made a soft thumping sound as I pushed it, along with the rest of my weight, against my last piece of protection. Everything stopped. No sound was heard except my heavy breathing and his calm even breaths. All the pressure quickly rushed from my head, making me dizzy and even more nauseous. 

For the first time in my life, everything was quiet. He had been right. However, I had nothing left to give and my body had given up. My vision swam as I heard his soft chuckle. 

"Feeling better Mako?" I still wanted to know and as my forehead and hand slid down the side of my door I had enough energy to ask the question once more and hear his answer before I passed out.

"What is your name?"

" **Izaya."**


	4. Tub

_The little girl_

 _Just could not sleep_

 _Because her thoughts_

 _Were way to deep_

 _Her mind had gone_

 _Out for a stroll_

 _And had fallen down_

 _The rabbit hole_

I woke up almost twenty-four hours after the man named Izaya left my front door. It had to of been the most restful sleep I've had since I moved to this new city. I knew I had a large goose egg on the left side of my head from where I hit the ground and my still sleep covered eyes spotted a small folded piece of paper that had been slid just under the door jam. The phone that he so requested I bring with me was clutched tight in my right hand and flashed purple from a missed chat message. 

Little Bird,

I hope your rest was fulfilling. It must have been the first one in days. Now my test turned out to be correct. The things I read all state that until a full connection is made touch plays the biggest roll between Epitaph and Signer. On the flip side, touch is also what starts the process of a full connection. So, I deduced, that if we touched through a door maybe you'd get the relief you needed without the added connection! Now little Mako I'd like to propose that we started moving forward today. We can meet, for the first time, on open ground. I promise to keep my hands to myself if we can just have an open conversation. What do you say I take you out to lunch?

Much Love,

Izaya

His name was known throughout the whole of Japan as a man no one wanted to get mixed up with. Izaya naturally, through stories, seemed to be a person who took a back seat and would rather manipulate his pawns into doing it for him rather then him getting his hands dirty. This didn't mean he wouldn't. I've heard firsthand stories of his work with a knife and it sounded as if he was very adept with that as well. All of that aside this all sounded like ownership of sorts that I didn't want to be apart of.

The note turned out to be his phone number, which I didn't want or need, but I knew my time for running was coming to an end. I could at least hear him out face to face. If I could get him to keep his word, then maybe this would go somewhere. As long as I could keep him from touching me, I could still get out of this city unscathed, if or when things went bad. That was the logical part of my brain, however, something else seemed to have switched on from our run in the day prior. Something a little darker, that liked the way he smelled, of fresh forest rain that just fell through the pine trees, the sound of his voice, although it held sinister undertones, could probably purr on command when trying to seduce a lover. I pulled up a new message on my phone.

*Mako: I want the same information you have, and you have a deal.

He knew where I lived and who I was, most of my background in underground things and what I was. There was no running anymore he had pretty much backed me into a corner, and I had to play my hand.

*Izaya: I take it this is the Little Bird herself.

*Izaya: But of course, you can have access to everything I own. We will be working very close together after all.

*Mako: Don't press your luck, yet. When and where for this lunch, Izaya.

The more I sat there the more I came to realize things about my body, like how hungry I was. Everything was sore and the cottonmouth was real, my vision was still a little blurry and I could faintly smell the day-old pizza I had thrown in the trash, which was on the other side of the flat. There was defiantly dried drool still stuck to my face, my cheek felt, crusty. However, the clicking noises of my air conditioning unit were new and a little too loud for me to be happy with it being something normal.

*Izaya: Let's say in one hour I meet you at the front door to your place and we start over from there?

*Mako: Little too late to start over now isn't it?

I felt drunk as soon as I stood up. My body moved from side to side with a wave of motion and every step felt like moving through molasses. This probably had something to do with our meeting last night. The drunkenness felt more like I was swimming in the clouds like my nose had found amazing sents and just wouldn't let it go. Like fresh rain just after it falls through the pine trees. Like him…

*Mako: What did you do?

*Izaya: Whatever do you mean? I've done nothing. I'm even keeping my hands to myself! 

*Mako: Do not come here. We will have to do lunch another day.

*Izaya: Oh no no no Little Bird, that will not do. I'll be seeing you in an hour.

*Mako: No Izaya, please.

*Mako: Izaya

*Mako: IZAYA!

My front door was not the greatest protection, but it was currently my only protection from what I still assumed to be a killer/conman. The cool tiles of the bathroom floor alerted me to the fact that I was hot and momentarily moved my thoughts away from Izaya. Though the smell of forest rain still clogged every pore of my system. Looking to the mirror, just above the sink, I almost lost it. My eyes were no longer the lavender color I loved so much but a bright yellow with catlike slits. My skin also looked a lot paler then I remember it being and were those fangs?

This wasn't right. Never in the time that I've known, I was different did any of this happen. I wasn't versed in the supernatural. The small following, I had back home, my team, followed me for my leadership and my ability to back my talk up. They never knew, well one person did, and never once did anyone ask. I was followed blindly, and I always loved it. Now he was the one with the upper hand. He knew what I was and clearly what that meant to him and I had fallen into his lap like an open book just ready to give away all the knowledge I didn't have. Odds are he wouldn't even flinch when we met and yet I'd be shaking like a leaf. He pretty much owned me, and I was grasping at the coattails of an outcome I knew nothing about yet. 

*Izaya: I'm about 15mins out little Mako. Don't make me wait when I get there.

Oh, how my body did not want to disappoint this person and yet my mind screamed for everything to stop. To gain back the control I've so completely lost. Slamming the door to the bathroom shut, I curled up in the tub and closed off. No voices bothered me, no matter how loud they were, I kicked them out. It was time for a full revamp, a chance to understand what was going on, or at least put all my ducks in a row.

My mind brought me to a dark space, where I couldn't see much more than five feet in front of my face. But there someone sat, hair blacker than a starless night, eyes catlike and fixated on me. The spitting image of myself, very agitated and upset. This was me, it had to be, a side I knew nothing about, and have never tried to know anything about. The Epitaph that was so spoken about. 

"Can you tell me?" We were standing face to face now, no more than two feet apart.

"Tell you what little one?" The voice was strung out and slurred, almost like a drunk person.

"What I am?" 

"Wrong question little one. Correct question. How can you become one with me?" She laughed out, dark and hollow. The catlike eyes got closer.

"For I am you and you are me. He will bring out the best in us you know. Little one you are so scared of something that will be good for you. We are the bringer of voices, the one who brings people to their knees. There is so much you don't know, let him help us become what we truly are meant to be! Let him make us whole."

"What is whole though? I don't even know what I am anymore." The hands had claws, they dug into my skin and it almost felt like they were molding to my body itself. I was becoming heavier if that was even possible, slowly being lulled into a submissive state. She was right up at my lips now. The freezing skin gently passing over my own with every word she spoke.

"Trust our Signer little one. The Signer always knows best. We are made to work with the Signer, don't you see? You and he are not much different other than personality. Just trust me Little One. Let the Signer make the voices stop." She kissed me, her icy cold tongue forcing its way into my mouth. I felt like I was being consumed like she was pushing something into me. The will to fight back was no longer there. Was it that bad though? Maybe this Izaya man was truly what I needed. Running has been my way of life, all the way up until Kyoto. Even there the voices never stopped. If this was the chance to quiet, who am I to deny the sweet, sweet silence. 

_Don't let me down now ok?_

 _ **Never Little One. We are going home.**_

 __ _Thank you._

The door had been locked, but it hadn't been that hard to open. He wasn't at all upset that she hadn't answered, after all, if the underground doctor was right he had already set things in motion. The flat was well lived in, a place that someone didn't often leave. All doors were open except what he assumed was the bathroom. Bypassing that door altogether the bedroom came into view. The laptop he knew had been the main source of contact for the last few weeks looked like it had been tossed on the bed out of what he hoped was frustration at himself.

She liked plants from what he could tell, many types of house plants were hanging from the ceiling or placed on any available counter space. He guessed some changes would need to be made to his high-rise condo if he was going to be having her move in with him. Moving back to the task at hand a duffle bag was quickly located and packed with a few days of clothes, her laptop with charger, and what he determined were some important notebooks. The last thing he grabbed was an old, dirty stuffed elephant that he figured he could hold over her head later.

*Izaya: So far you have been right. Shall we regroup tomorrow once she's settled in?

*Shinra: Oh yes have you seen her yet?! Celty will be so excited to meet her!

*Izaya: Not yet, she's closed in the bathroom and quiet.

*Shinra: She might be going through the transition process. Remember she's a lot older than most Epitaphs when they find their Signers. The half of her that's been dormant this whole time may come off a little stronger than normal. It depends on how willing her conscience side is to the change. Just be careful! Celty and I can't wait to meet her!

Contacting the doctor hadn't been his favorite thing to do, but the man had somewhat of a good understanding of the supernatural and so, therefore, he had little choice. Appeasing him was not something he planned to do anything soon, this was his new toy and he planned to keep her all to himself. 

The bright lights of the bathroom reflected off the tile floor as he opened the bathroom door. The mirror was shatter all over the place and bloody footprints led to the tub. Curled up in the far corner, somewhat hidden by the shower curtain, was the woman he was looking for. Although her clothes were somewhat covered in blood you could make out what was once clean black yoga pants and a baggy purple top of sorts. Her feet were cut to shreds from what was once part of the mirror, but it oddly looked like they had already started to heal to him. Farther up he made out a decent size bust that was moving up and down with a faint rumble that he considered to be a growl. 

Izaya was very rarely ever shaken but when his eyes traveled up to her face, he froze. Staring back at him from a vail of red hair were two golden catlike eyes. Teeth were also bared, showing two very sharp upper canines that he knew could do some damage if provoked. But if everything he read was right, she did not need to attack him, he was her anchor.

"My, my Little Bird. Who knew our first true meeting would be like this hmm? Come here Little Bird. Its time to go to your new home." He picked a low tone to his voice. Something he thought would hopefully show her he meant no threat.

It seemed to have worked. The redhead let go of the death grip she had on her legs to place her hands flat on the tub floor and straight into the blood trails left from her feet. The growling had thankfully stopped as she crawled forward, adjusting herself at the edge of the tub, eyes watching him expectantly. This was not the girl he had been speaking with over the last few weeks, she looked drugged, yet still very much aware of what was going on.

" _Will, you not start the bond, my Signer?_ " Two things were speaking to him this time. This must have been the transition Shinra spoke of. He was doing this at what he now determined was a very delicate time. If he touched her and became her Signer now, he would be in complete control of her true transition, if not and he decided to wait there was no guaranty she would accept him when this was all over. And Izaya was not one to let a grand opportunity go. 

Stepping forward he extended his right hand, softly placing it to her cheek, which she nuzzled into right away. The warm feeling that shot up his arm was almost burning, but the smile it brought to his face out weighted the pain on his wrist. The burning was what he assumed was the mark he read about that had started to appear in the form of a crescent moon with a star. The same mark appeared on her forehead, blood draining down her face slowly. Once fully in place on both beings, the marks disappeared. She was his, maybe not in the way he wanted, but he was one step closer to achieving that goal as well. 

"Ready to go home my Epitaph?"

 _Her mind had gone_

 _Out for a stroll_

 _And had fallen down_

 _The rabbit hole_


	5. Inner Conflict

11/15/2019: Hey! It's been a while. All my chapters have been edited and reposted due to just how bad they were before. Please let me know what you think. This was kind of an in-between chapter and very hard to write. I don't really care for backstories so I leave them pretty sparse so that they can be filled in later.

 _I've spent much too long_

 _In the space between_

 _Staying and letting go_

She was in front of me again. Both of us sitting knee to knee in that dark space yet again. Her once pitch-black hair now had a small streak of white right in the front and her once golden eyes were now a deep purple. Paperwhite skin now started to show just a little bit of color to it. The face staring back at me was no longer menacing looking but rather calm and relaxed.

 _ **Feeling better Little One?**_

The derange voice from before was no more, now replaced with a velvety smooth tone and a smiling face that showed only white teeth and no fangs. Did I feel better? Yes, but to say I was beyond confused would be an understatement.

 _What exactly is going on?_

 _ **We found our Signer of course! Currently, we are in what is called recovery. The vessel we are in took a lot of strain with the process due to us being much older than most Epitaphs. However, our Signer has placed us in a very safe location and is protecting us well! So, nothing to worry about, we have all the time to talk Little One.**_

 _Do you mean to tell me we are with Izaya now?_

 _ **Our Signer? Yes! He understood how crucial the time was and started the bonding. You Little One are the only one who doesn't fully understand yet. We, you and I, are still separated so to speak. Until our bonding is complete and you accept me, we can not become a true Epitaph.**_

 _I never had a choice! I was just fine on my own and now you let him take me somewhere I've never been. He's a horrible man!_

 _ **Our Signer would not hurt us. He described it right to you the first time. The bonding is a mating, you are his just as much as he will be yours. The Signer is your anchor, the one thing that keeps our true selves in check without us imploding. Again, Little One, until the bonding is finished, I'm not sure you will truly understand any of this. Haven't you always felt different than anyone else? Do you not remember how easy it was for you to kill that teacher of yours? Do you even remember how I helped you with that?**_

Truth be told I never did remember my kills very much in the beginning. I had moved on to a knife at some point, as I'm sure I was using my hands before. My prey, however, had never really known I was coming. Giving everything that I was to this man honestly scared the hell out of me more than killing ever did. It truthfully had sounded over the last few weeks that I was the only one affected by this whole thing and he was just reaping the benefits of whatever I had to give. If that drunken feeling I had gotten just off his smell alone was anything to go by, I was in a whole heap of trouble.

However, if what she said was also true there was some benefit to this. If Izaya had to put his God complex behind him for all of this then maybe I would be able to avoid his games altogether, or just become apart of them. Again, he has everything to gain and I'm just hanging on by my coattails.

 _If he abuses our powers what can we do? I still don't fully believe any of this. My whole life its been me, myself, and I with a few exceptions. I still have those exceptions to think about here and I won't let them get mixed up in all of this if he can have access to all my information. There must be a but here._

 _ **Our Signer cannot raise a hand to us Little One. There are maybe four of us on this earth now, whereas years ago there were a few hundred. Most Signers keep their Epitaphs close as the farther the distance the thinner the bond grows. You Little One can very well sever the bond on your own just by leaving the country. Though I wouldn't get any ideas our Signer is stronger than most.**_

 _ **Our makeup will not allow us to attack our Signer unless he puts us in any form of direct danger where we feel cornered**_ _ **with a chance of death. The same being said for anyone you care for. Is our Signer a bad person? Yes, but most Signers are not the greatest of people. Our pairing isn't supposed to be a good one, we are here to balance the world out. Have you not noticed this? What of Marcus and the revenge you received for that?**_

Quickly the darkness brightened, and we were sitting in a vast room. An empty warehouse to be precise. To my right was nothing but a pool of blood, I didn't look up from there, I knew what I would find. Marcus had been the reason for my moving in the first place. It was our last job and it had gone all wrong. Everything was in place until Marcus had disappeared on us the night before our hit. I had waited forty-eight hours before signaling the others to start the search, by then it had been too late.

The warehouse that I had tracked him too had been in a square I called the slums. It was a high concentration of gangs and low life people. No one had followed me, and I will forever be glad for that, they didn't need to see what he had gone through. It was around nine at night when I opened those large steel doors for the first time. No one was around to be seen, the smell, however, was foul.

 _ **Look up Little One. Sometimes the things of our past help lead us to a better future.**_

Seeing his lifeless eyes staring back at me from the floor was much different than the sight I had seen head on that night. They had kidnapped his little sister; she was strung up right next to his body. Both had been gutted, sliced from top to bottom. I was sure his sister had faired worse than he did, but I tried not to think about what they had done to the poor thirteen-year-old girl before her brother had arrived. Just staring at his lifeless eyes had anger welling up inside of me. My own eyes had started to burn behind the tears that were welling up.

Not long after I had approached their mutilated bodies did the group that had killed them jumped me. Those terrible people had died that night and I now understood just how I had survived that. She had taken over and repaid the favor just as they had done to Marcus and his sister.

 _He was a casualty I will never forgive myself for._

 _ **You had made a mistake little one. Our Signer is here to make sure those things don't happen again. He knew that night and I'm sure you did too, that change was to come. It was not a coincidence that you relocated to**_ _ **Ikebukuro**_ _ **Little One. Fate had decided it was time and I think you owe fate the chance to show you a better life. All will become clear in time but for now, it is time to wake up. Your Signer has a guest so be careful.**_

To be honest, I didn't know how to feel about any of this anymore, but I was currently stuck and the only thing I could do was wake up and face Izaya, for better or for worse.

 _The life in front of you is far more important than the life behind you. – Joel Osteen_


End file.
